Soul Searching

[More Girls Gone Oscar Wilde]

Important things I’m discovering:

I hate it when people say something “looks so [me].” In my mind, they are saying, “That looks like something hideous that only you would wear but no self-respecting person would be caught dead in.”

I think my spirit animal is a cow. They are kind of boring, but I don’t mean that derogatorily. They just kind of want to do their own thing and they’re chill and whenever I see cows, I just feel like I really identify with them.

I resent when people comment that my name “sounds Utah,” or ask if it is a combination of my parents’ names. I like my name. It’s not that weird. It’s uncommon, to be sure, but not outlandish or cutesy. It’s from an Alfred Hitchcock movie and I personally think that’s really cool.

I dislike cooking but I really want a Kitchen Aide. Honestly, right now I think being able to register for one is my biggest motivation to get married.

One of the most frequent adjectives to be applied to me is “sassy.” I take offense with that. What is that even supposed to mean? When I hear that word, I think of someone who is opinionated and overbearing and insensitive and impolite, none of which I want to be. It’s actually kind of got me worried about what kind of vibes I give off as a person.

I’m currently reading The Trial by Franz Kafka and The Count of Monte Cristo and listening to the Serial podcast and watching “Making a Murderer” and I am now fairly convinced I am going to spend a large portion of my life in prison for a crime I didn’t commit. On the upside, I’ve been thinking about the people in my life and I feel like I would have some pretty good character witnesses, which makes me feel really good about myself. Unless they interviewed my brother and he told them about that time when I salted the slugs in my mom’s garden and he told me I was a senseless murderer.

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3 Responses to Soul Searching

  1. Christian says:

    I always knew there had to be blood on your hands.


  2. kelliodair says:

    Um, Alfred Hitchcock!? That’s super cool and you should whip that out anytime anyone questions your name!


  3. says:

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