Ms. Poulson: Shhhh. No talking in lunch detention. This isn’t supposed to be fun. You’re supposed to be completely miserable.
Kid 1: Can we whisper?
Kid 1: Can we write notes?
Kid 2: Can we lip read?
MP: No. But you can blink messages in Morse Code.
Kid 3 (talking to Kid 4): Why are your pants hanging down so low? It’s disgusting. Pull them up.
Kid 4: I dunno. They’re too big, I guess.
Kid 3: Then get a smaller size. Maybe you need to go shop at Baby Gap.
Kid 5 starts singing “Someone Like You” by Adele
Kid 5: Ms. Poulson, I want nothing but the best for you.
MP: Thanks. I appreciate that.
Kid 5: You should. Because I am not nice to people.
Kid 2 bursts out in laughter.
MP: Hey. Dude. Stop laughing. You’re miserable, remember?
Kid 2 (pointing at Kid 1): He was telling me a blinking joke!
Kid 6: Ms. P, do you own a gun?
MP: Yes. A glue gun.
Kid 6: That’s lame. That doesn’t even count.
Kid 3: Have you ever burnt yourself on one of those? It’s pretty much the same as getting shot.
Kid 5: Ms. Poulson, you would look really cute with my cousin. He’s a professional photographer and he’s rich…but he’s also gay and has a boyfriend.
Kid 7: My sister’s friend is a photographer and he’s also gay!
Kid 5: Taking pictures must be a gay thing.
Kid 8: Pouls, why aren’t you married?
Kid 9: Yeah, you know how many kids in 9th grade think you’re hot?
MP: We are changing the subject and we are never, ever going to talk about that ever again.
Kid 1: Can we go yet?
MP: If you can tell me who sings this song in one guess, I will let you go early.
[MP starts playing “Lucky” by Britney Spears]
Kid 1: Ariana Grande!
Kid 4: Someone old and probably dead.
Kid 5: Justin Bieber!
Kid 1: Donald Trump.
Kid 2: Britney Spears?
MP: You can go.
Kid 3: That’s not fair. Lunch detention is the worst.
MP: Thank you.