“Please Excuse this Ridiculous Citation!”

There are almost seven billion people living on this planet.

I suppose there must be millions and millions of kind, decent, considerate people.

However, I seem to come in contact with a skewed representation of human life. Consider this letter I received this morning:

Dear Traffic Office,

Please excuse this ridiculous citation I received today. I have a valid faculty sticker and have parked this same car (with the same license plate) in this lot, in this space, for over 20 years! Life is stressful enough without dealing with this nonsense! I expect an apology and an email and call from your office ASAP.

Dr. Cranky

CC: President Samuelson

To him I would reply:


Dear Sir,

We received your letter dated 19 Jan 2011. Thank you for your inquiry regarding your parking citation. After careful consideration of your appeal, we have to come to the conclusion that you are either blind or illiterate. Somehow, you failed to read the sign located directly in front of your car designating that stall as a Visitors ONLY stall.

Additionally, we doubt the validity of your claim that you have been parking that car in that space with that license plate for the last twenty years considering your car is no more than ten years old and you have only been employed by the university for seventeen years.

We are enclosing a large print-out of the picture taken at the time of the citation. You will see an image of your vehicle parked directly under the arrow indicating the stall as Visitors ONLY.

Please direct any further questions to a medical doctor who can check your vision and memory.


BYU Parking Appeals

PostScript: We expect an apology call and email and batch of freshly made brownies, ASAP.

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2 Responses to “Please Excuse this Ridiculous Citation!”

  1. Sav says:

    Oh man. It makes me so happy that Harry cc’d the Prez right on back. P.S. MAJOR sleuth kudos to you for catching that the car is from 2004. That’s a nice touch. You’re my hero.


  2. Pingback: Btw, I am totally on board with her brownie idea. « The Capital L

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