“Oh, no there’s not, dear!”

“So, you guys gave me a ticket but there were no signs saying I couldn’t park there!”

With only that simple greeting, I knew I wouldn’t be fond of this man.

“Are you here to appeal? Can I have your citation number?”

I took his ticket and saw that the ticket was issued less than seven days ago, thus making him eligible for an early pay reduction.

“Just to let you know what your options are, if you pay this now…”

“Uh, NO! I will not be paying this!”

Why do these people think they magically don’t have to pay their tickets?

“Well, so you know, if  you pay it within the first seven days, you can get it automatically reduced without appealing so this ticket would only be $10. However, if you choose to appeal, you cannot get the early pay later if your ticket is reduced to say, $12. It’s an either/or kind of a thing.”

“I already said no. I am not paying this.”

“Okay, then you are more than welcome to appeal it. Go ahead and fill out the information on the computer screen.”

“Why do I even have to do this? I don’t deserve this ticket. There were NO signs. I was an unmarked parking spot!”

“Our appeals officer will be able to show you pictures of the area and you can see if there are signs there.”

“Oh, no there’s not, dear! There aren’t any signs. Do you want me to march you or an officer down there now and we can take a look. If there were signs, I would have seen them!”

I finally got him to fill out the form. He stopped twice to tell me that my computer system is stupid.

A few minutes later, he steps out of my boss’s office, still yelling.

“Listen, I’m not going to have  you here yelling at me. I will take your appeal under consideration and will send you an email,” Harry patiently replied.

“I’m NOT YELLING!” he yelled.

“That’s a matter of opinion,” said Harry.

“Who is your boss that I can go speak to? I’ll go all the way to the top!”

“You can go talk to Lt. Figaro.”

He stormed over to the Police counter to talk the the Lieutenant. The two of them spoke for a few minutes before retreating to the Lieutenant’s office to speak. Perhaps Barber suspected that the whole office was eavesdropping (which we were). I had made my way over to Red’s desk. Being the wise one she is, she had discovered the root of this man’s nastiness.

“His name is Carly! Why would his mother do that to him? He just has a 27 year old chip on his shoulder and he’s taking it out on us.”

“We have a case of A-Boy-Named-Sue on our hands,” I said.

Moral of the story: Don’t effeminate your son or he will be made fun of in secret at the Parking Office.

[Perhaps she was his mother’s inspiration. I don’t think C. Simon wants a name sake like him.]

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2 Responses to “Oh, no there’s not, dear!”

  1. Sav says:

    It’s like these people can’t see what total idiots they’re making of themselves. If they only knew of the fun we have at their expense! I’m sorry you were screamed at, m’dear. I’m likely bitter, old, and jaded, but I’ll admit I get a perverse pleasure from these encounters. They’re rabid, but I’ve got a muzzle and I ain’t afraid to use it *wink*


  2. Chelsy says:

    Wow. All the crazies come in the afternoon . . . how do I always miss out on them?


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