Why does ‘surprise’ have two r’s? I’ve always wondered that.
No, you guessed wrong.
Yesterday, my friends threw me a SURPRISE PARTY! My birthday isn’t until Saturday, which, I guess, just added to the surprise. And let me tell you, they got me good.
I’d had kind of a super low-key day and was feeling rather bummish. Yes, that is a word; I am pretty sure. I took a shower around 6pm and never bothered to do my hair or put on makeup. Priscilla called me and told me that she had locked her keys in her car and needed me to come give them to her. Her apartment ended up being locked but I said I would come pick her up at work (at a party and reception center) and we could come back with her keys later.
When I told Pokie that I was leaving, she said she wanted to come. I hadn’t worked out yet and I was feeling gross and unproductive, so when Pokie said that she was going to come, I was tempted to just let her go without me so I could go biking or to the gym.
When we got there, Pokie said we should go in and wait for Priscilla to finish. I was wandering around but Lissy was trying really hard to get me to stay in one place, which I thought was strange.
Priscilla finished and said she needed to go upstairs to grab something and we should come with her. We walked into one of the party rooms and I saw some streamers and someone taking pictures and I thought, oh, whoops. Priscilla must have not finished cleaning up after a party today.
Then everyone popped out and said “SURPRISE!”, and I still just stood there for a minute, trying to figure out what was going on. I looked around and thought, who are we surprising?
And then I remembered that my birthday was this week. And that this was probably for me. And there were a lot of people there. I didn’t know that many people could tolerate me.
See, back in February, Pokie and I were up late one night, or early in the morning, and she asked me what I wanted for my birthday and I began listing off all sorts of ridiculous things. I actually don’t remember what all was on the list, but I am sure they were outlandish.
Pokie was determined to make all my birthday wishes come true, starting with a surprise party. After everyone hugged me, told me I’m wonderful, etc., Priscilla said there was another surprise. Phase II, if you will.
We went downstairs to the parking lot, and low and behold, a caravan of decorated cars and screaming people drove by. Apparently a birthday parade was also on my list. That’s right: I got a parade for my birthday. One car even had Soviet music playing. My friends know me well.
We went back upstairs and watched a slideshow of secret pictures that Pokie had gotten from friends and family and listened to a special playlist she made just for me. There were a lot of pictures that I didn’t recognize when or where they were taken so it was a walk through memory lane, without some of the memories.
My wonderful friend Avenue had made me a molten chocolate cake and Pete and Button provided the pizza. It was seriously more than I could have imagined.
We spent the rest of the night playing Wii, racquetball, and wallyball. It was so well planned and legit! One of the best birthday parties ever.
But that’s not all. When it got dark, we went outside and unleashed Phase III: fireworks. Yeah, I got a parade and fireworks on my birthday. Call me Uncle Sam. Or, America, I guess.
Oh, and let me not forget the card, or book rather. Pete made me a card/book signed by my friends and complete pictures of my favorite world leaders and dictators: Fidel, Queen Elizabeth, Mao, Stalin, Genghis Khan, Ivan the Terrible/Awesome, and Napoleon. Fidel called me ‘Bestie’ (and dotted his ‘i’ with a heart), Mao congratulated me on surviving another year, Stalin said I was so special that he wouldn’t purge me, and Ivan said “I shall burn two villages in your honor. May the flames cast a warm glow on your face.” Try beating that for a birthday card.
The only day of my life better than this one was when I got to see Lenin’s waxy, immortal body.
I was so overwhelmed the whole night. It was one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me and it was really fun. Thanks, everyone! You are the best. Collectively and individually. In the words of Tracy Jordan, “I promise that every single person in this room will be President of the United States.”
Pictures and videos to follow. And let me tell you, there are some good ones.