Honesty….Is Such a Lonely Word

Why is it that every blog I write can be neatly summed up by a Billy Joel song?

So, I went to the Preach My Gospel class at church yesterday. The topic: companionship inventory. Because I’ve never been on a mission, I really didn’t know much about it. Turns out this is the part of every week where you let it all out on your companion. You tell him (or her) everything that they do that drives you crazy and they do the same for you. Well, it didn’t sound quite that malicious in the lesson. I guess it supposed to make your companionship run smoother because you work through all your issues and there’s no pent-up anger. Theoretically.
If I didn’t already have a running list of reasons I am terrified of going on a mission, it would be begin with comp. inventory. I don’t do this whole tell-people-when-you-have-an-issue-with-them thing. I don’t. I never have. I usually suck it up, paste a fake smile on my face, and complain to my best friend first chance I get. Last year, my roommates and I decided we needed to talk about some issues. I got so nervous before it that I threw up.
I realize this isn’t really a healthy way to deal with things but I’ve been doing it my whole life so why change now? Because none of us are currently missionaries, the teachers spun the lesson to apply comp. inventory to DTR or just any relationships that we currently have. I realized I’ve never really done this. I can think of a handful of times where I tried talking to someone about a problem I had with them and none of them came out so well. Am I really that bad of a communicator?
This got me thinking. I am a dirty rotten scoundrel. Well, hopefully not. But, I realized that I am never completely honest in conversations I have with people. There is no one that I am completely honest with. Now, don’t think that I am a liar all of the time. I am an honest person. But in just about every conversation I have, I hold something back or agree with someone when I don’t actually agree or just say what I think the other person wants to hear.
Am I the only one who does this? Are there other people in the world can’t be up front about things?

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One Response to Honesty….Is Such a Lonely Word

  1. efraley says:

    Don't worry, I never was completely honest with my comps or with people in general. Sometimes it's best to hold things back and learn how to get over them. So don't get down on yourself, we all could be better communicators and a little bit more patient with people.


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